Monday, July 20, 2009

Not so sweet Nothings

My roots are different than most others I've met. That's not to say my life was any harder or easier than the next person. I know we all go through our personal struggles and our crowning achievements as the years go by. Not always in that order or in any type of pattern. However, even at 26, I go back. I go back to cotton fields and railroad tracks and a community. These days I feel trapped in a concrete jungle that is one of the best things to happen to me but yet also one of the worst things to happen to me. The disconnect from just about everybody that I had built bonds with is at times difficult to accept. As a professional, I'm thankful for a lot of opportunities that have presented themselves in a huge city. As a person, I struggle to see the sunshine through the cracks in the concrete lately. I've been thinking a lot of how there's no second chances in life and death. When somebody is gone, you can't rewind your last 10 years and make a decision to be more involved.  Is it worth it? Nothing will ever replace family. You can bring me the best scrambled egg you can find. However, that would never replicate an egg that was made with love from your grandma in a house no bigger than most people's garages in these neighborhoods. You can't put a price on that and you can't replace that. When it's gone, it's gone for good. Memories are for people who settle. Every moment is a snapshot in your life that you can't ever re-live. Ehh I'm just rambling. It's been a while since I've actually wrote, I could go for a course with Dr. Wooster to knock some rust off. Back to my Fidel book. I promise I'll get better at this and give some updates on the training. I did 2.5 miles at a decent pace and walked for a lap and then ran a hard half mile. I was sweating like I just had jumped out of a pool. :)